Week Five- What?

Yes, I say what? Because, well, what? It's week five, gone, done, dusted. Over. Finished. Ca-put. Really, only three weeks left ( and as I write this, more like...2 and a half) It's making me want to cry!

Week five was really a big week of the final preparations for what we are experiencing in week six. That is our scene presentation, our songs, monologues and “Last scenes” performances.

So, when I wrote last, I believe it was the night before our dance presentation. It went very well! Better than I expected for learning eight routines in one week..well, maybe it wasn't eight, but it was certainly a lot. We performed all of the group numbers and in-between presented our scenes as dances. I was surprised and impressed at how well we all rose to the challenge. Really, I saw people change dramatically, and when there were mistakes or things didn't go to plan, we somehow worked it out. Also, our Alexander teachers commented on the change in the body and the different awareness there is in dance. Later in the week, we actually ended up doing African, Spanish and tango dance in Alexander classes, because it  just changes your body for the better I think! Either it frees you up and you move things you usually just don't move much. You just don't care as much, you move your centre, so you stir the emotions, and you become loose and carefree in a way that perhaps sometimes an actor feels like they cannot. Very similar to do animal work. Because there is a structure, it allows you freedom!

An impressive note for the week, was that my Alexander teacher, Katya, who has been teaching Alexander for twenty years said I'm one of the most fast changing, improved people she's ever seen! That's an a amazing comment to get. And I feel the difference! As I said I felt on here last time, I feel taller. It's helped immensely with my characterisation work too. The spine affects everything!

What I've enjoyed this week has been scene work. I'm very lucky to be working with a young, talented man called Aaron, who's been very easy to work with. I mean, I think as an actor you always hope that you get to work with someone you have some form of understanding with. A lot of the times you don't and it can be hard, but you still have to do the job.

Sometimes people can be good actors,great actors, but for whatever reason you may find it hard to work with them. At the end of the day, personal feelings are one thing, but I like to think, that no matter what, it's going to help if you're both in the professional mind set of getting the job done, and that the work comes first, that you really have to use or build or work on what you naturally have with that person, for the better for the scene. That's what I've felt has happened with Aaron.,For whatever reason, it seems we understand each other on quite an instinctual level, so that helped immensely for creating what has to be a real husband and wife situation and its developed nicely over this time.

Along, long, long, time ago, I must admit, I didn't really understand what rehearsal was. Well, I had a feeling as to what I thought rehearsal was. And so this is where learning happens.

I used to think, again, a long, long, long, time ago, that you learned your lines,and that you went in the next day and you pretty much tried to re-grasp what you found the first time. And repeat, and then, wonder why I couldn't find new things, or understood about what it truly meant to be in the moment. It was only through my second year at acting school, I think I truly, truly understood the concept of what a rael rehearsal is (Thanks to director and teacher Bille Brown, Michael futche and others) who really made me realise what can full be found in the rehearsal room.

My director and teacher for scenes, Brigid Panet ( Author of “Essential Acting”) has been so good about not allowing us to get stuck in patterns, or as she would say “have the same obstacle” Becasue,  what happens is that usually in a scene you find the obstacle, and when you're challenging that obstacle for the very first time, or first few times, it's very fresh and new. It's exciting and there's adrenalin pumping. But, when we know that obstacle too well,we need to find new challenges for ourselves. We need to explore the scene as fully and deeply as we can each time. Nothing is trivial, each time we do the scene- whether sitting and talking to each other one on one or doing a full run with props and costumes- there must always been real intent behind the lines. That sounds silly, because you think, well yes, of course there should be. But I am constantly shocked at how many actors I see who do not do this, and I don't blame them,everyone has done it. It's because it's scary, and if you're actually giving it a real go, if you're actually daring to go for it- that's a brave thing to do, but it is your job, so you just have to do it. And what I think I see sometiems, and what you find yourself doing sometiems is tricks" or thinking you are in the moment, and it's only when you actually commit and be in the moment, you realise that you weren't before.

And  well, in thee endm something might not work, or you might feel silly or whatever, but I do believe it is always harder to look back and say “ oh damn, why didn't I try this or this, if only I did this” but if you just give what you can a go, do exercises, explore a relationship, seeing how different things affect you and your character, the more and more you discover, an then the more base you have in order to create. And therefore, going back to my point about rehearsal, if one is always going from true intention and taking in his body what he has before from everything that's been explored- it means you don't really have to worry or even think, or put pressure on yourself to be performing a “replicate” performance. You will still find the scene if you are commited to those intentions and has Leonard Meenach woud say (form QUT), you find positive choices!

So, I say all this, because my scene with Aaron as Lady Percy ( or Kate) and Hotspur (or Harry) is that it really has been done it different every time. Every time! The scene has really grown organically and that's been so satisfying! I must say, it is a path that takes more patience, but the results are golden apples that shine in the sun, rather than a half baked cake! What? You can see I do not have as so much wit as Shakespeare when it comes to my similes and metaphors.

My challenge with the scene is that Lady Percy is questioning Harry about why he hasn't given her any attention for two weeks and has been having nightmares (She's overheard him in his sleep). He tells me he can't tell me what's going on ( he is going off to battle, which I have suspected anyway) . I threaten him with words and the physical act of going to break his little finger to which responds to by telling me he doesn't love me. I ask if he really means that. He doesn't, he does love me very much, but remains firm that he can't tell me anything and must go...but, that I can see him tomorrow before he leaves for good.

He does up up going to war, and I will not see him again, but within this scene, all I can do is be int the scene and not the end. I don't want to linger in one emotion, or generalised wash, which is very easy to do, especially if you find something that works emotionally for you, or you can access easily- that's when it's harder to get out of.

 My aim is to be as specific to the words as I can, and to let them create my meaning. The challenging moment is I have to go from my husband telling me to my face he doesn't love me, one of the only people in my life that I love, telling me he doesn't love me....to him saying he does, of course he does! But that he must go anyway. To play devastation, to love, to joy, to the realisation my love of my life is leaving and I have no control- and to play it so fast,  in a few short seconds...is hard!! But it is there. As Brigid said, I can't judge it, I can't choose to stay in being depressed or upset state, or how I started the scene, because the scene has moved on. There is a journey in every scene!

It is the same for Goneril. Her speech, is not a speech, it's a series of thoughts and she does not know where she will end up by the end of the speech, but she gets there. I think it's easy to look at her speech ( where she is determing the fate of her father) and see it as an “evil” speech. But she isn't evil, well, not yet, and she is really just doing what seems right to her in that moment. She doesn't even know or realise how far her plans will end up going, or that she will soon be gulging out another man's eyes or wanting to kill her sister. In fact, if you use the words Shakespeare has given- just using the words as they are, without trying really, you actually get the sense of someone making up a plan as they go along,because the words are telling you that's what's going on! Ah! It makes so much sense!

The characters don't know- so don't play ahead! Another cooking metaphor- we do not want anything half baked already, something that is pre planned! We want something that is cooking instantly infront of us! That's what the audience pay for. They pay for the sunset and for the lights to be on in our eyes!

We presented our Stage combat scenes yesterday ( the beginning of week six, ahh!) and we had a chat about what we get out of doing classes such as Stage combat. And we all agreed- we are learning all about the same things in every class (whether Alexander, dance, or voice) -  to be present, to listen, to concentrate, to be open, to make bold choices, to be committed, to be aware, to be centred- Every acting class is to do with these topics and more- we cannot separate them. These things are our art- this and the imagination!

And on that note- goodnight! Tomorrow are our scenes, monologues, our “last scenes” (We are doing the last end scene from “All's well that ends well”)and singing! Woo hoo! What a big day! It will be so fun, and scary and exciting and thrilling! I am so looking forward to it and seeing everyone's work!

Xx Claire